Media Release - Graffiti Faceoff!

Today Me First! announced that it has bugger-all interest in the supposed issue of graffiti. Some problems are just too small to concern government - even local government - and graffiti is one of those. However members of the public do bang on-and-on over the problem so Me First! has a solution.

In fact what we are offering is solution - the kind that dissolves paint. If elected a Me First! government would provide free-of-charge to all comers the tools needed to remove graffiti from both public and private property. A party spokesperson expressed the position in this way:

"If it annoys you so much then do something and take care of it yourself you bloody wingers! Issues like this are getting in the way of my Federal election campaign."

Evidence shows that the best way to combat graffiti-making behaviours is by removing the graffiti as soon as it appears. Me First! recommends a Do-It-Yourself (DIY) ethos in which residents of affected areas address the problem directly. In the case of a residential front fence it is the job of the home-owner to do the work. In the case of public areas such as bus shelters then we envisage the forming of local gangs of graffiti removers who will wander the streets combating the issue as it arises. These groups will spontaneously form as is right for the libertarian culture we seek to cultivate.

"We reckon that over time these removal gangs will each develop a unique identity and sub-culture. They will even have names and logos for themselves. They will take pride in the work they do and to promote that will plaster their logos over the sites that they have rescued from graffiti. Soon images such as the 'tag' Gramps Graffiti Gutters will become commonplace across the suburbs."

Me First! recommends a DIY response to graffiti for all Australians. And if residents just let graffiti happen then this is the same as saying that they are in fact fine with it and simply like to whine for the sake of it.