Policy - Lovelink: Australia Needs More Love!

Me First! will be implementing the policy of 'Negative Income Tax' thereby allowing the abolition of Centrelink (as both collection of tax and payment of income-support will be taken care of by the Tax Office). However the model of Centrelink will be the basis for a new government instrumentality - Lovelink.

Lovelink will be the government owned and operated dating agency. Its purpose will be to facilitate the formation of relationships and ultimately the promotion of family bonds. Key aspects of the Lovelink policy will include:

Smoochstart Allowance: This payment will cover the costs of travel to date locations (the further the better so as to combat in-breeding), flowers, restaurant dinners, movies, dances, motel rooms, chocolates and contraceptives.

Date Diary: Eligibility for Smoochstart will depend on the regular submission of a Date Diary in which the identity of persons dated and the nature of dating activity entered into must be proven (face-to-face dates only will be recognised). The Date Diary can be an entirely on-line document allowing for minimal resource usage and document handling. The on-line medium will also allow for supporting evidence such as embarrassing Facebook photos to be linked to (naturally Lovelink will have to be ones Facebook Friend to allow us access to such evidence).

Partner Search Support: The full array of connection services provided by any dating agency will be given by Lovelink. Lovelink will quickly become the most patronised of such services (because of the Smoochstart incentive) and thereby provide the largest pool of potential suitors.

Lover Resume: One innovation of the Lovelink method will be the Lover Resume. This will be different from a normal on-line profile and will aggressively sell ones attributes as a partner. The resume will include references from exes one is still friends with or admirers who never got the chance (so you gotta be nice).

Woo & Win Intensive Support: For those particularly difficult-to-date clients Lovelink will provide comprehensive training and conditioning to become a better date. This will be useful for everyone from wall-flowers to obnoxious jerks (who will have to sit together in the same seminar and get lectured by some successful but aging Casanova or Casanovix).

With this raft of initiatives Lovelink will exponentially increase the number of dates happening in society. Statistically the more one dates the more quickly one will find the right partners. The end result will be a more happy society, a greater incidence of wanted children, and improved stimulation of the hospitality sector.

Policy - The New United Churches

Me First! advocate for religious freedom. Anyone can formulate and promote any supernatural and moral code they wish to and submit it to the jury of public opinion. Every person can invent a personal religion for themselves for all we care. Pigs may fly. Religious tolerance is one thing. But government support of religion is another thing altogether. Consider all the current government practices regarding religious organisations:

- Exemption from anti-discrimination laws

- Non-profit tax-exemption status for religious charity organisations

- Massive tax-payer funding of religious schools and hospitals

Under a Me First! government all these benefits will only be given to a handful of state-sanctioned churches. If any existing religious groups wish to take advantage of these benefits then they will need to merge with a united church such as...

The Australian Monotheist Church: For all Christians, Jews and Muslims. You want all those schools and hospitals to keep getting government funding? Well then you will have to work with your fellow theists who think pretty much the same things anyway.

The Australian Polytheist Church: Everyone from strict Hindus to vague-and-fluffy Wiccans will have to work together in this church if they want government favorability. What fun that will be.

The Australian Dualist Church: Yes even the few thousand Zoroastrians in Australia can get in on the pork-barreling if they want!

With this policy Me First! will both make for more efficient state-church relations and allow Australians to more fully understand the common assumptions under which persons of religion labour.

Policy - Manners Campaign

Manners is the lubricant that smooths the path of relations between the millions of members of our diverse society. It is paramount that manners be promoted in society and Me First! have a policy to address this. Key planks of our policy will include...

- An aggressive and shocking advertising campaign demonstrating some of the many rude and offensive things that happen. Everything from forgetting to use indicators to pushing into line will be depicted on posters underscored by the catchy slogan "Now that is just fucking rude!".

- Current anti-discrimination legislation will be renamed and rewritten to drive home the fact that prejudice on the basis of gender, sexuality, creed, culture, sub-culture, income, ability or attractiveness is just fucking rude.

- Manners is a learned behavior and as such requires regular revision and reinforcement throughout life. We forget things over time. It is hardly surprising then that the elderly are among the rudest members of society (consider the elderly person getting on the bus and needlessly disputing how much change the driver gives them then sitting down and wanting to talk with someone who is evidently absorbed in a book). The elderly will be targeted for manners re-education. An advertisement will show a child telling off an elderly relative for commenting on the outlandish attire of a passer-by with the phrase "gramps that is just fucking rude".

With such a raft of initiatives Me First! intends to promote a more courteous and decorous national culture.