Policy - Health-AND-Education: Integrated Nodes for Lifelong Service

Politicians frequently use the phrase ‘Health and Education’ in election campaigns. They do this because of the conventional wisdom that says these two issues are important to voters and feel that they will win votes simply by uttering this convenient three-word phrase. But is there any connection between these two issues? Me First! thinks there is. That is why Me First! has a unique Health and Education policy. This policy proposes the establishment of Integrated Nodes for Lifelong Services that will commonly be known as ‘hospischools’ or ‘schoolspitals’.

In these nodes the functions of education and health will be united within the same community campus. Such nodes will attend to the development and preservation of both body and mind. The new United Churches will be permitted to establish independent non-government nodes that will provide for those of us who want to attend to the alleged spirit as well as body and mind.

The average node will incorporate into it all health and education needs for a given community across all generations. Everything from paediatrics to palliative care and everything from kindergarten to ‘university of the third age’ classes will be provided for within a node. Consider some of the many efficient connections between health and education that will be facilitated by such integrated nodes:

- A child falls from the monkey bars cracking his fragile skull. He can be taken quickly to the emergency ward a short walk away.

- Another child in the yard is refusing to observe ‘Sunsmart’ practices during the summer months. She can be taken to visit an old codger in a hospital ward who is having melanomas removed from his bald top.

- Yet another child – this time a teenager – accidentally got herself pregnant behind the shelter sheds a few weeks back. On discovering this her teacher can quickly and quietly escort her over to the fertility control clinic for an abortion.

- A jaded teacher of Year 9s has had pretty much all he can take from the shits. But help is at hand as he is a short walk away form a doctor who will be happy to euthanase him.

- A mature-aged student with a ‘chip on his shoulder’ is talking far too much in a university tute so the tutor sends for an anaesthetist to sedate the pesky fellow.

The establishment of integrated nodes can make use of existing health and education facilities – redeveloping some while closing and selling off others for housing purposes. It is anticipated that such sales will in turn be sufficient to fund the redevelopment of old schools and hospitals into new integrated nodes. The result of all this will be the development of a smarter and fitter community with better levels of inter-generational understanding.